December 29, 2011

Life Choices Are How We Manage Our Lives

Every day each person on earth makes hundreds of choices. We are here because of decisions we have made up to this point. Many of our choices fall in the default mode. These are choices that we are unaware of even making. They can also be choices made because we felt we had no other choice.

Some of the most common default choices we make are our daily living choices. The alarm clock rings and we get out of bed and get ready for work.

Our choices are: to ignore it, to shut it off and stay in bed, or to shut it off and get up. We choose to be happy or to be angry. Which ever action is a choice.

Our next choice may seem a non-choice. When someone first wakes up there is usually a great need to relieve themselves. The choice is where we decide to do it. Almost everyone makes the hike to the bathroom and chooses to relieve themselves using the facilities, we made this choice, we could just let it happen in bed, or on the floor or wherever we are at the time of need.

The two choices I have talked about are default choices because we believe there is no other choice. We have to get up for work on time, otherwise we no longer have a job. That is true, but we still have choice in the matter. Keeping employment is the choice and getting up is the action to take. The second scenario the choice is so obvious that it seems as if it is no choice at all.

Some people choose not to make decisions and therefore let other people manage their lives for them. They may feel helpless at times, but they chose not to consciously make decisions and willingly give up their power

Some choices we make are choices to procrastinate. This evening, I had to stop writing to make supper for my family. The choice was simple because my family’s needs are a top priority. After supper, the choice was a little tougher. For various reasons I wanted to get out of the kitchen as quickly as possible. The meal ended and I wanted to relax in the living room. The choice I made was to stay in the kitchen and clean it up and leave it tidy. The weight of not doing this would ruin my evening, so the price I would pay for choosing to relax was greater than I wanted to pay. Additionally the job would have been harder later on, because the food on the dishes would be dried and it would have been even harder to get up and go back into the kitchen knowing it was a mess. Due to the choice I made to clean it up. I will get a good feeling walking into my kitchen finding everything neat and clean.

In conclusion choices are the way we manage our lives. We need careful thought about the decisions we make.

Leave a Comment

Filed under Mind Body Spirit

Tagged as , ,

December 29, 2011

Problem Behaviors

 

 

I first wrote this true story about one year ago my daughter is now 19.

I am sharing this in the hope of allowing people who have witnessed really bad behavior but have not experienced it firsthand, might be just a little more understanding of children and adults who are “different”.

My daughter is now 18 years old and things have not improved, and in many ways are worse. Puberty and autism make for a really difficult transition.

My girl is considered high functioning but has a low IQ and still behaves on the level of a 5 year old. She has an autism spectrum disorder and is unable to respond and behave in a way that is expected of an 18 year old.

But because she looks so ‘normal’ people do not understand her inability to respond and behave in a normal fashion. This causes many conflicts and embarrassments. People often greet her social shortcomings with disdain and frustration. I get many, many dirty looks, and head shaking when we are out in public. I so often hear the comment, she is 18 and she should be acting as a young lady-perhaps true of some, but she is still operating on the level of perhaps a 5 year old. Now that is a scary, vulnerable combination.

She has no concept of the feelings of others. Her feelings, and emotions are topmost, center, and exclusive. If she is hot, she is hotter than anyone else, and it is unbearable, she lets everyone know about it. The same applies for being cold, tired, hungry, itchy, or if her clothes are just not feeling right.

The story I am about to share is true and is also very typical for her.

In fact about a month ago, my girl, and my older adult daughter and her 2 boys (ages 2 and 3) went to the pharmacy to get a Prescription filled. When the prescription was turned in no one told me it would take an hour to fill. We would have left and come back. The first twenty minutes or so went pretty well, I had only been begged for about 30 items in the store. Each request was getting a bit louder and more demanding. But then she decided that she was hungry. And her complaints got louder and she got more distraught by the moment. She wanted everything on the shelf and said she would eat them cold, uncooked, she was so hungry. She was actually drooling over the canned food section. Then she started looking under the chairs around the pharmacy waiting area, hoping to find some gum or something stuck to the chairs, she was starving, and everyone in the store knew it. It was a very hot day, actual temperature was 103 and the heat index was 110, so waiting outside was out of the question. She spent 35 minutes, non-stop complaining about her hunger and the fact that the pharmacist was slow, didn’t know what he was doing, was taking so long just to torture her and on and on. She got down on the floor and cried. Went to people in the store telling them that she was being starved to death and that her mom didn’t care. There was no way to quiet her down, or appease her. By the way the two little boys were sitting in the cart, they were fussing a little, but in no way were they disruptive to the degree that my girl was.

She had already been told that as soon as we were done here we were going the Chinese Restaurant and having the buffet. I offered her a cheese cracker to tide her over, but that was refused.

Unfortunately this type of unacceptable behavior is more the norm than not. I know not to feed into her frenzy by talking or trying to convince her that things are not as bad as she ‘knows’ they are. I know that will only incite her more and make an impossible situation even worse.

But you know, putting up with her behavior, as bad as it is actually easier than dealing with the other people who are looking on. I know what I am dealing with, and I know the outcomes. Suggestions of locking her up, beating the tar out of her, or being told that a responsible parent would not tolerate such behavior, and that she should have been taught at a younger age what is acceptable behavior is a lot more difficult. Now, after dealing with this for about 17 years I just smile, and don’t even bother to explain. After all, if after if all the noise and tantrums she has already caused a person doesn’t realize that she is developmentally delayed, they will never understand what it means. There is no point in wasting my breath or energy trying to justify her behavior. Usually just a smile, and maybe a shrug of my shoulders is all the reaction others will get from me.

I am sure that all of you parents of children with similar problems understand the frustration, and know the exhaustion of dealing with our children.

Hopefully some people who have not experienced this issue with their children will see the challenges through my eyes and next time they come across a situation as I have described will be just a little more tolerant and less quick to judge.

I know that not all developmentally children/teenagers behave in this manner, but I also know that she is not the only one who does.

 

 

Leave a Comment

Filed under Autism, Pervasive Developmental Disorder

Tagged as , , , ,

December 29, 2011

How to Deal With Difficult People – Types of Difficult People


Difficult people are people who you have difficulty interacting with. Most of us have several difficult people who we must deal with often Some of the most difficult people I have to deal with are family members. For the purpose of this article it does not matter if other people have difficultly dealing with a particular person or not, what matters is that you have problems dealing with them.

People who are hard to deal with can be broken down into seven sub-groups.

1. Hostile-aggressive: These people are often perceived as bullies. They tend to overwhelm others by making cutting remarks. They may even throw a tantrum when the situation gets out of their control. They may use a loud voice and show aggressive type of behavior.

2. Negative people: They are the people who always love to put down plans as being impossible. They are wonderful at deflating the balloon of optimism. They are afraid of change and express their fear by finding fault with anything or anyone who plans on succeeding.

3. Excessively agreeable: People who are super agreeable often act very supportive and willing to work with you. They find no fault and seemingly agree to do a substantial amount of work, but fail to produce in the way that you would expect from their agreeableness.

4. Complainers: We all know people who complain about every little thing. No matter what the suggestion is they complain about one thing or another. One thing these people have in common is that they never take any steps to improve their condition not do they welcome help in solving their problems.

5. Indecisive people: These are the folks who can never make a decision. They waver back and forth and procrastinate until all the decision-making is done for them. They want everything perfect, which of course never happens so they won’t commit to anything or even state their preference.

6. Unresponsive people: We all deal with people who we cannot get their attention. They will sit silently and not show agreement or disagreement. They simply are there in body only.

7. The experts: The know-it-alls want everyone to know that they know more about everything and that they know everyone who is worth knowing. They are condescending to co-workers or family members because they want everyone to acknowledge that they are the experts. They can even be pompous and make others feel unworthy.

Identifying why you have problems with people you deal with is helpful because you are identifying the quality that you have the most trouble accepting and getting around. This gives you a key to use to work with the difficult people in your life. Knowing what it is exactly that causes the problems is in itself part of the solution and may give you ideas on how to deal with them more effectively.

Leave a Comment

Filed under Difficult People

Tagged as

December 29, 2011

Parkinson’s Disease – The Affect on Motor Skills


Parkinson’s Disease is a neurological illness that targets motor skills. Many of the symptoms of Parkinson’s disease are due a lack of the chemical dopamine in the brain.

This is a “motor system” disorder because it affects a person’s movement and coordination.

This disease is generally diagnosed and treated after the age of 50, but it strikes younger people as well. There is no particular group of people affected. It affects people of every ethnic and social group as well as any geographic area.

Currently there is no cure for this disease. No blood test will confirm or deny its presence. MRI’s are often used to rule out any other neurological cause for the symptoms.

Symptoms of Parkinson’s disease include:

 

  • Tremors of the hands, legs, arms, or face tend to occur when the limb is at rest but not when performing tasks.
  • Shaking of the hands, legs, arms, or face
  • Bradykinesia is slowness of voluntary movements such as walking. It causes difficulty in starting movement as well as completing a movement once begun.
  • Problems with balance
  • Rigidity of limbs or stiff muscles may produce muscle pain and tends to increase during movement.
  • Parkinsonian gait is a distinctive unsteady walk associated with Parkinson’s disease. The affected person tends to bend unnaturally backwards or forwards, and develop a stooped, head-down, shoulders-dropped stance.
  • Arm swing is reduced or absent, people with Parkinson’s tend to take small-shuffling steps. This is called festination.
  • A person with Parkinson’s may have problems starting movement to walk, seem to fall forward as they walk, freeze in mid-stride and make box like turns.
  • Impaired speech-the affected person may have difficulty speaking; their voices become very soft and monotone.
  • Blinking, smiling and other automatic movements may be lost; these are all unconscious acts that are normal actions of people.
  • Stiffness of trunk and limbs
  • Stiffness of facial expressions, often referred as the Parkinson’s Mask, this is caused by the rigidity of muscles of the face.
  • Cramped handwriting

 

There are many other non-motor complications of Parkinson’s disease including:

 

  • Difficulty chewing and swallowing
  • Urinary problems
  • Constipation
  • Sleep Problems
  • Sexual dysfunction
  • Excessive salivation
  • Loss of intellectual capacity
  • Anxiety, depression, isolation

 

There are a number of medications to help manage the symptoms of this disease, but do nothing to stop the progression of the disease.

Levodopa and carbidopa are considered the gold standard in drug therapy. Levodopa is a natural substance found in plants and animals. It is a precursor to dopamine and when given to patients it is converted to dopamine by nerve cells in the brain. Carbidopa is given in conjunction with Levodopa because it helps get more Levodopa to the brain and lessens some of the side effects.

Other medications include dopamine agonists, anticholinergics, Amantadine, Coenzyme Q10.

Parkinson’s disease is a distressing and exhausting condition for the patient as well as family and friends. The most serious and disabling impact of this disease is the gradual loss of mobility. This in turn leads to loss of independence in daily activities.

Patricia M. Hines invites you to visit her blog at http://luckyandhappyblog.com. To read more information about dealing with negative peoplehttp://luckyandhappyblog.com/2011/02/09/deal-difficult-people-tactfully/.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Patricia_M_Hines

1 Comment

Filed under Parkinson's Disease

Tagged as

December 28, 2011

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!

Leave a Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

March 2, 2011

External Focus and Parkinson’s Disease

 

 

Each of us has two types of focus. The first and most common is internal focus, where the focus is of course internal; how do I feel today? How does this affect my bottom line? How much work will this cause me? All of these questions show that the focus in inside our own little world.
External Focus is focus that is centered on the physical world around you.  Most aspiring artists draw what they see around them. Journalists’ write about events that occur around them.  Both of these are examples of external focus.

John F Kennedy summed up the contrast of internal focus to external focus by his famous statement. “Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country. “

Any time that your focus is on the give, what you can give or do for others you are externally focused. When you are focused on what’s in it for you, you are then focusing internally.

During the research for this article, I came upon information that I found extremely helpful. Parkinson’s disease afflicts many, many people.  One of he primary risks that Parkinson’s disease carries is that patients are at great risk for posture and balance impairments. These conditions often lead to falls, which may result in head injuries and factures.

Physical therapy has always had the patients’ focus on their feet, this method produced slight or no improvement while trying to balance on an unstable surface (an inflated rubber disk.) However, when patients were instructed to focus on the movements of the rubber disk, external focus, postural stability was improved. This gives patients with postural instability more control over their lives thought the use of strategies using eternal focus to help manage their own balance safely.

This has carried over to healthy adults who are able to learn and perform motor skills more efficiently when instructed to adopt an external focus. This same concept has shown to be effective to people after suffering a stroke.

This concept when applied to golf was also very effective. Golfers who focus on their arm swing (internal focus) and golfers who focus on the club swing (external focus); the external-focus golfers out performed the internal-focus golfers.

It is of course the same in business world, businesses that provide more give for the dollar, allowing the customer to leave with the feeling that they got more for their money are much more successful. A business that allows a customer to feel that they paid for more than they got, or feeling that they were “taken” will not stay in business long.

 

 

Leave a Comment

Filed under Focus, Parkinson's Disease

Tagged as ,

March 2, 2011

Motor Skills and Parkinson’s Disease

 

 

Parkinson’s Disease is a neurological illness that targets motor skills. Many of the symptoms of Parkinson’s disease are caused by a lack of the chemical dopamine in the brain.

This is considered a “motor system” disorder because it affects a person’s movement and coordination.

This disease is generally diagnosed and treated after the age of 50, but it strikes younger people as well. There is no particular group of people affected. It affects people of every ethnic, social group as well as any geographic area.

Currently there is no cure for this disease. No blood test will confirm or deny its presence. MRI’s are often used to rule out any other neurological cause for the symptoms.

Symptoms of Parkinson’s disease include:

  • Tremors of the hands, legs, arms, or face tend to occur when the limb is at rest but not when performing tasks.
  • Shaking of the hands, legs, arms, or face
  • Bradykinesia is slowness of voluntary movements such as walking. It causes difficulty in starting movement as well as completing a movement once it has been started.
  • Problems with balance
  • Rigidity of limbs or stiff muscles may produce muscle pain and tends to increase during movement.
  • Parkinsonian gait is a distinctive unsteady walk that is associated with Parkinson’s disease. The affected person tends to bend unnaturally backwards or forwards, and develop a stooped, head –down, shoulders-dropped stance.
  • Arm swing is reduced or absent, people with Parkinson’s tend to take small-shuffling steps. This is called festination.
  • A person with Parkinson’s may have problems starting movement to walk, appear to fall forward as they walk, freeze in mid-stride and make box like turns.
  • Impaired speech-the affected person may have difficulty speaking; their voices become very soft and monotone in nature.
  • Blinking, smiling and other automatic movements may be lost; these are all unconscious acts that are normal actions of people.
  • Stiffness of trunk and limbs
  • Stiffness of facial expressions, often referred as the Parkinson’s Mask, this is caused by the rigidity of muscles of the face.
  • Cramped handwriting

There are many other non-motor complications of Parkinson’s disease including:

  • Difficulty chewing and swallowing
  • Urinary problems
  • Constipation
  • Sleep Problems
  • Sexual dysfunction
  • Excessive salivation
  • Loss of intellectual capacity
  • Anxiety, depression, isolation

There are a number of medications to help manage the symptoms of this disease, but do nothing to stop the progression of the disease.

Levodopa and carbidopa are considered the gold standard in drug therapy. Levodopa is a natural substance found in plants and animals. It is a precursor to dopamine and when given to patients it is converted to dopamine by nerve cells in the brain. Carbidopa is given in conjunction with Levodopa because it helps get more Levodopa to the brain and lessens some of the side effects.

Other medications include dopamine agonists, anticholinergics, Amantadine, Coenzyme Q10.

Parkinson’s disease is a distressing and exhausting condition for the patient as well as family and friends. The most serious and disabling impact of this disease is the gradual loss of mobility. This in turn leads to loss of independence in daily activities.

 

 

Leave a Comment

Filed under Neurological Disorders, Parkinson's Disease

Tagged as ,

March 2, 2011

External Focus and Parkinson’s Disease

 

 

Each of us has two types of focus. The first and most common is internal focus, where the focus is of course internal; how do I feel today? How does this affect my bottom line? How much work will this cause me? All of these questions show that the focus in inside our own little world.
External Focus is focus that is centered on the physical world around you.  Most aspiring artists draw what they see around them. Journalists’ write about events that occur around them.  Both of these are examples of external focus.

John F Kennedy summed up the contrast of internal focus to external focus by his famous statement. “Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country. “

Any time that your focus is on the give, what you can give or do for others you are externally focused. When you are focused on what’s in it for you, you are then focusing internally.

During the research for this article, I came upon information that I found extremely helpful. Parkinson’s disease afflicts many, many people.  One of he primary risks that Parkinson’s disease carries is that patients are at great risk for posture and balance impairments. These conditions often lead to falls, which may result in head injuries and factures.

Physical therapy has always had the patients’ focus on their feet, this method produced slight or no improvement while trying to balance on an unstable surface (an inflated rubber disk.) However, when patients were instructed to focus on the movements of the rubber disk, external focus, postural stability was improved. This gives patients with postural instability more control over their lives thought the use of strategies using eternal focus to help manage their own balance safely.

This has carried over to healthy adults who are able to learn and perform motor skills more efficiently when instructed to adopt an external focus. This same concept has shown to be effective to people after suffering a stroke.

This concept when applied to golf was also very effective. Golfers who focus on their arm swing (internal focus) and golfers who focus on the club swing (external focus); the external-focus golfers out performed the internal-focus golfers.

It is of course the same in business world, businesses that provide more give for the dollar, allowing the customer to leave with the feeling that they got more for their money are much more successful. A business that allows a customer to feel that they paid for more than they got, or feeling that they were “taken” will not stay in business long.

 

 

Leave a Comment

Filed under Parkinson's Disease

Tagged as ,

February 22, 2011

Autism and Teenagers

 

 

The teen and young-adult years are difficult for everyone. In a teen with autism many of the problems are magnified to a very great degree.

Life can be become very difficult for both the teen and the parents. Of course much depends on severity of the autism.  Just like every other teen, autistic teens go through puberty. The autistic teen experiences the same hormonal changes that every other teen experiences with one major difference. The behavior and abilities of the teen can be drastically extreme depending on how the child reacts to the changes. These changes can be either very good or very bad.

This is a time that most teenagers experience greater social interaction. For the teenager with autism this is a most critical time. They have not developed the social skills that are age appropriate. They are usually considered odd or strange, or worse may be excluded entirely by the social crowd.

Much depends on weather the teen was even able to attend school, some manage quite well in the special education division, and others have been home bound or home schooled for most of their lives.

Autism manifests itself with the child having trouble communicating and managing social interaction. Along with this many have repetitive behaviors and poor emotional control. For these reasons most autistic teens do not learn now to behave according to sociological norms by experience. They need to be taught the proper way to behave. This may be very difficult, or at it’s worst, impossible due to rigid mindset and the volatile nature of the teen and his behavior and expectations. They do not easily adapt to things being different than they always have been.

This inability to fit in socially can be very traumatic. Many react with violence or anger, others may refuse to interact at all. They also become aware that they are different from others their age. The may realize they have few if any friends and they have no future plans.

For some the feeling of not fitting in may cause them to retreat further into themselves, while for other it is a motivation to learn more social skills.

A high functioning autistic teen may be able to adapt and fit in. But the severely autistic teen may not fit in and may not be able to care for himself and need to rely on others for basic needs.

The change from child to adult is always difficult and parents fear letting go. If their child is autistic the parent may first realize that life is much more difficult and may have do planning for the teen that they had not expected to do because the teen will not be leaving home to go to college, or to work, or even to get his own apartment. This can cause incredible stress for both the teen and the parents.

 

 

Leave a Comment

Filed under Autism

Tagged as

February 13, 2011

How to Handle Difficult People – 5 Tips to Be the Stronger Person

 

 

You deal with difficult people in many settings, many times. Sometimes there is a personality clash and other times the other person may do or say things that really annoy you.

When two people don’t get along, each usually blames the other for the problem. If you are experiencing self-justifying thoughts, don’t you suppose the other person is also? Generally if you have to self-justify your own behavior you intuitively know that your behavior isn’t the best.

You cannot change other people. You can change you. You have a direct line to your own thoughts, body and language. If you make changes in the way you approach a difficult person, it is very likely that the other person will respond to your changes by changing their own behavior.

You may still feel that there are some people you deal with are truly difficult and that nothing you do will change them. You are right and wrong. You, being the stronger person must be the one to start changing how you deal with the difficult people in your life.

You must be part of the solution and not part of the problem. People respond positively to kind, genuine and polite behavior.

Tips to be the stronger person:

· Smile and maintain a pleasant look on your face.

· Focus on things you like about the person and work that into the conversation so that the person feels more self-confident.

· Maintain a good working relationship give it the extra effort.

· Examine your own behavior and make sure you are not creating the negative outcomes.

· Be considerate of the other person.

· Be polite.

· Don’t allow yourself to get drawn into an argument.

· Keep your personal life as well as theirs out of the conversation.

· If at all possible give genuine complements.

· Let the other person know that you appreciate their contribution to the effort.

· Remember every person is worthy of basic respect.

· Use different types of conversation style until you find the one that works

· Everyday each of us does something that someone finds difficult.

· Treat the other person the way you want to be treated.

Stop placing responsibility for the difficult relationship with the other person and accept personal responsibility for your own behavior. Once you have done this you have indeed made yourself the stronger person. It does not matter if anyone else recognizes the changes, all that is important is that you know that you have started the work of improving the relationship.

 

 

Leave a Comment

Filed under Difficult People

Tagged as ,